Consequences of Unmet Needs My Ideal Parents

Consequences of unmet basic developmental needs
    
PLACE
Place means a sense of being wanted, having a place to belong, of feeling safe in the world.  A child knows through loving interactions that they are wanted and loved.

PLACE DEFICIT
Rejection leads to:
*longing to belong somewhere
*disconnection and flight from this world
*preoccupation about God/Heaven/Hell
*Absorption with death

NURTURANCE
Nurture makes us feel full inside our bodies.
Nurture helps to define our insides.  Literally, nurture keeps us alive.

NURTURE DEFICIT
*hollow inside
*empty
*insatiable
*angry and unsatisfied
*unparented

SUPPORT 
Support supplies a sense of bottom and ground.
Support is taken in on our buttocks, feet, and back.

SUPPORT DEFICIT
*Feelings of insecurity and groundlessness
*poor balance and unsteadiness
*frequent falling during childhood
*nightmares of falling endlessly in bottomless pit
*tendency to injure own supporting limbs

PROTECTION
New born child is soft, fragile, and defenseless
and needs hardness, resilience and boundary guardians.

PROTECTION DEFICIT
Protection deficit results in a heightened 
*Helplessness
*Sensitivity
*Powerlessness
*Fearfulness
*Penetrability

LIMITS
The child needs loving interactions that: Satisfy basic needs and teaches that needs have limits and can be satiated. They do not infinite appetites.

Anger and fury are not omnipotent when they are limited and not permitted to produce destruction.
Loving, sensual/sexual expressions are welcomed and accepted but defined, as parents channel these needs away from family members toward peers in age appropriate and healthy ways.

LIMITS DEFICITS
*anxiety due to insufficient ego mastery of aggression and sexuality
*destructive acting out and promiscuity
*guilt feelings, which turn explosive unbound energies inward
*rigid, brittle, conforming behavior from attempts at self-control

NEED SATISFACTION MISDIRECTED
Basic needs unsatisfied at an  appropriate age by the appropriate figures leads us to:
*Seek satisfaction, indirectly & unconsciously, in relationships with Friends, Teachers, Ministers, Employers, & Spouses
*Potentially distorting and overloading these relationships
@Pesso Boyden Psychomotor Therapy

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